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Good F*kn Food: Cheat's Paella

JUST EAT IT

Good F*kn Food: Cheat's Paella

Alexia Frangos

Welcome friends! If this is your first time reading this segment, you won't find any highly edited or touched plates of food that looks like it belongs in a museum in these articles. Home cooking is imperfect, sometimes rough and just a big guessing game for most of us! In the spirit of keeping it real, images are taken throughout the cooking process so you can actually see what you need to do, one step at a time.

This week on Good F*kn Food we're making one of my go-to dishes for quick, filling and tasty food - my cheat's version of paella.

  Looks average but tastes brill

Looks average but tastes brill

Now, I am well aware this ain’t about to be traditional paella (pronounced pa-yeah-yah) and I’m not here to step on any Latino toes here, of course this dish looks more like glorified chicken and rice, but it’s my version of paella without the time commitment and I didn’t have any seafood.

I was craving delish comfort food I could eat for dinner and lunch the next day, while staying relatively healthy - I mean, it’s better than a double cheeseburger amirite? Plus it costs less per serve than a large meal… yes, less.

You can easily make this dish pescetarian as traditionally paella also has prawns, scallops or mussels. You could also make it vegetarian/vegan by adding a shitload more dense veggies i.e. beans, broccoli or zucchini. I just used what I had in my fridge at the time; as you know there are no rules for this dish (or most of my dishes) - so you can get as creative as you like.

Codes:

  • Large eaters: can eat a whole 12" pizza and some garlic bread with ease
  • Medium eaters: would be full on a 10" pizza and maybe a piece of garlic bread
  • Small eaters: can *just* get through a 9" pizza, but eats ice-cream later anyway
  • If you see a '?' it means I'm not 100% sure and at this point it's an educated guess

CHEAT'S PAELLA

Serves 2 large eaters or 3 medium eaters.
For example, this fed me dinner, lunch the next day and some of my colleagues who wanted to try a small serve.

Cost per serve: $6.00*

Prep time: 5 mins

Cook time: 8-10 mins

Double the quantity when cooking for 4 medium eaters.

Get out your:

  • Big-ass saucepan so shit doesn't fly everywhere
  • Big ol' spoon
  • 'I Like It' by Cardi B on repeat
  • Chopping boards & knives, duh

Ingredients:

  • Uncle Ben’s Mexican Rice (I buy it when it's 2 for $3)
  • About 200g? raw protein: chicken or prawns (I used leftover rotisserie chicken as it needed to be used & it’s cheap AF)
  • 1 Chorizo, sliced on an angle then cut in half
  • 2 tomatoes, diced
  • 1 capsicum, sliced
  • 1 medium brown onion, diced
  • 1 tsp crushed garlic (I buy pre-chopped as it’s a cheap option & lasts forever)
  • 1 cup? of frozen peas & corn (again, cost-effective)
  • 1 Tbs extra virgin olive oil

Method:

NOTE: if using sliced/diced raw chicken or prawns, add to Step 2 and sear the outside. The protein will cook-through over the course of the method.

1. Grab a medium/large frypan over medium heat, add extra virgin olive oil. Once oil is warm, add chorizo to the pan and brown on each side. Remove chorizo and set aside for later (the oil is super tasty now ‘cause mmmm chorizo).

  Once it's grilled like this, remove but leave that delish oil

Once it's grilled like this, remove but leave that delish oil

2. Put heat on low and add onion and garlic, cook until just transluscent. Add raw protein if applicable.

  Make them onions transluscent like this!

Make them onions transluscent like this!

3. Add capsicum, once it develops a red-orange colour (see below), add tomatoes. Cook on medium heat until capsicum is semi-soft.

  If you don't like capsicum you can add zucchini or green beans - p.s capsicum is the best don't hate

If you don't like capsicum you can add zucchini or green beans - p.s capsicum is the best don't hate

4. Meanwhile, pop your Uncle Ben’s Mexican Rice in the microwave as instructed on the packet (should be 90 seconds per packet).

5. Add rotisserie chicken and chorizo to the pan, cook until all ingredients are hot. Add peas and corn, mix that shiiiit up.

  Almost there...

Almost there...

6. Once peas and corn are donezo, add the rice and turn off the heat. Mix through!

  See why you need a big ass pan? 

See why you need a big ass pan? 

Serve hot and munch away!

Tips:

  • I find the Mexican Rice packet has all the spices and herbs most people need, but I like to add extra Smokey Paprika, Oregano, Chilli Flakes and Cumin to the rice once it’s in the pan and mix thoroughly.
  • Spice the rice to your taste.

I hope you find joy in cooking this very easy dish and I’m sure when you take it to work tomorrow for lunch you’ll be the envy of your colleagues.

It’s a great dish if you don’t want to feel sluggish afterward and it ticks all the boxes for a substantial meal - that’s right, I can be healthy! Bon apetittie.

Thanks for joining us on this new blog and keep an eye out for next week's Good F*kn Food. For more, check out the Good F*kn Food on Instagram.

*cost per serve is calculated from prices of ingredients bought at the time and costs may vary.